Saturday, December 31, 2005

Swades, my country, my homeland

One has to step out of the comfort of one's home to realize what it really meant. Ever since I have been on American soil I have come to appreciate my home country more and more. Its not that I dislike being here. There are good parts to it.
But there is never a sense of belonging, never a sense that I am allowed to be here! I have to carry my passport to prove that I have a right to be here.

Perhaps I have only learnt it the hard way what freedom really means. I have freedom of speech but my right to say things doesn't mean a bit. I am not allowed to vote here. Good or bad, poor or rich I have a say in my home country.
I am not questioned about stepping my foot on any part of the soil. I belong there. I can vote, even if my favourite party will not get elected.

Its not just family that makes home. Its more than that. There is always my loving family to go back to. But the craving to go back is much more than that. Its this deep feeling instilled in me of being on the foreign soil, that I heave a sigh of relief when I enter the Indian soil. I think to myself, they cannot possibly stop me from entering. Its just that single feeling which surpasses anything.

Then I have to remind myself, why does this happen? Is it just the whole buisness of borders, visas, immigrant laws that causes it. Would I enjoy being in a foreign country more if I believed I had a right to be here? What and when did we decide that man, woman or child were bound by birth to a peice of land? Why do we have to pledge our loyality a whole big estate to to use the land covered by our two feet? Would things have been different if there really was such a concept as one world, one mind?

We all have a natural sense of belonging I think, to the place we are born, to our house, to our family, to our immediate community. But is the sense of belonging naturally strong enough to make sense out of us and them, mine and theirs ?
Torn between a desire to go back home and wanting to be at peace with being away from home, my mind ponders and comes up with zilch!

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