Thursday, March 23, 2006

Pyar Ishq Mohabbat aur Zindagi

Kambhakth ishq hai jo
Sara Jahan hai woh
Kab aata hai Kab jaata hai....
Par rahta hai jab tak yeh kabhakth jannat dikhata hai

Sunayana could not sleep. She just could not get her mind off him. They had been in the same college for three years now. But suddenly something had changed. Everytime she saw him or talked to him, her heart did a thousand leaps. The whole world brightened up. Gone were her thoughts about war, poverty, homelessness. There were no worries in her world. He on the other hand she thought looked a little out of sorts.
The stubble made him look good. But it was difficult to ignore the lines of worry on his forehead.

Jane yeh kaisi aag lagi hai.
Isme dhuan na chingari
Ho na ho is baar koi khwab jala hai seene mein.

Ravi tossed and turned in his bed. He could hear voices from his parent's bedroom.
He felt so helpless. He was in the last year of engineering and they were running out of money to pay for his education. Baba had lost his job. The company had shut down suddenly and at his age it seemed impossible to get another job. He had two younger siblings, still in high school. There was just another year to go and his parents wanted him to finish. He felt like he should quit degree college and get a job. Any job would probably help them at this point. His parents on the other hand were trying to convince him that they had enough savings to get through another year. He was sure they were lying.

mere dil ko yeh kya ho gaya
main na janu kahan kho gaya
kyun lage ki din mein bhi raat hai
dhup mein bhi barsaat hai
aisa kyun hota hai baar baar
kya isko hi kahte hain pyar

Sunayana was on the seventh heaven. She had met Ravi in the hallway. He said he would like to talk to her in the afternoon after class. He had asked her looking very nervous whether she would meet him for a cup of tea. She had agreed most readily.
She realized she was counting minutes to this meeting, feeling nervous and delirious both at the same time.

Ishq hota nahi sabhi ke liye..
yeh bana hai yeh bana hai kisi kisi ke liye...

Ravi spent the time in class dreading his meeting with Sunayana. She was the closest thing he had to a friend and he was sure she would understand. He wondered what this meant for both of them. If only things were different, he could have asked her to marry him. She had big ideals, about how she would be a social activist and help the poor after she finished her graduation. He felt sad that he could not be a part of her ideals. His life was taking a different direction.

Mar gaye ishq mein aashiq kitne
aashiq baniyo na....
ishq kabhi kariyo na...

Sunayana felt like her life had fallen apart. She felt bitter. And yet she couldn't be angry with anyone. Ravi was leaving college. He had found a job in Dubai. It was a clerical job. She was sure he could get a better paying job but he was in no position
to bargain. She felt cheated. It wasn't Ravi's fault that his family was broke. She wished she could have helped him in a different way. But what could she do? She was from a middle class family herself. She had worked hard to get this merit seat, and her parents were just about able to pay for her education. She suggested that Ravi should take a loan and finish his studies. But he said that their finances were in such a poor state that it was impossible to manage even with a loan.

mann yeh baanwara
tujh bin maane na
dhunde raat din kya baanwara

As he walked out of her life that day Ravi had a hollow feeling. Sure they could keep in touch. They were still young and had time on their hands.
They both knew that was never going to work out. Ravi had to look after his siblings and Sunayana had to still build her life. Perhaps they still had hope. Maybe in 10-15 years time they could be together. Maybe she join him in Dubai. Maybe he would come back in couple of years after making a lot of money.

Hazaron Khwaahishen aisi ke har khwaahish pe dam nikale
Bahut nikale mere armaan lekin phir bhi kam nikale.


Casablanca said...

Ouch... :(

But then, some things are never meant to work out. Sometimes fate plays a part, things spiral out of their paths suddenly... and as unfair as it might be, I guess that's our sign - its not supposed to happen.

ligne said...

perhaps... but one always wonders na? about what could have been?